


In Your Arms I Might Just Make It

by muchofeels



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Cuddles, Drabble, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I am so sorry, I suck at writing, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Past Drug Use, Relapsing, possible triggers, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3513527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muchofeels/pseuds/muchofeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was strung out, Frank knew that much. The way Gerard’s words were stringing together and spilling out of his mouth was enough information to make that fact obvious. But the real question wasn’t if he was high, it was why he was high.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Arms I Might Just Make It

**Author's Note:**

> Idk, I saw an interview and did a lot research for the overdose thing. Uh, if I'm wrong on that, I do apologize. Also, this is set in an AU were the band did happen, but broke up and solo careers, but Frank never got married and Gee did, but divorce and no child.

He was strung out, Frank knew that much. The way Gerard’s words were stringing together and spilling out of his mouth was enough information to make that fact obvious. But the real question wasn’t _if_ he was high, it was _why_ he was high.

“Gerard, what’s-”

“Ya know, Frankie… I just- I love you.”

“Gerard, I- I lov- Listen to me. Do you need me to come get you? Where are you?”

A long sigh was heard on the other end of the phone. “I’m home.”

“I’m coming to get you, alright?”

“‘M fiiine, Frankie. No need for that.” And he hung up, leaving Frank wide eyed and choking on the air.

Knowing he didn’t have much time until what ever Gerard took really kicked in, he scrambled up to the key rack where there was a spare key to his friend’s house hung. Frank dashed outside to his car where he roughly threw the door open and shoved the key’s into the ignition. The car roared to life and he floored it, leaving the vehicle screeching down the road.

At every red light he drummed his fingers anxiously against the steering wheel and at every yellow light he’d pick up his speed to try and beat the changing of the colours. But he still arrived at Gerard’s home in under twenty minutes.

Somehow, despite his shaking fingers, Frank managed to unlock the door and burst in, eyes scanning around the room for any sight of Gerard.

“Gerard?” He called as his feet lead him down the hall.

“Gee?” No response.

Panic was settling into his bones as he came to the closed bathroom door. With anxiety, Frank pushed the door open. The sight before him made him lose his breath.

“Gerard…” He moaned as he entered the room.

The other man was on the ground, his knees drawn up to his chest and shaking like he’d just ingested way too much Monster energy. His hazel iris’ were almost completely black due to his blown pupils.

“Who t-told you t-to co-ome here?” Gerard stuttered, vibrating so violently his lips were too numb and tongue too heavy to speak normally.

Edging closer to his friend, Frank replied with, “You did, Gee… You called.”

“Di-id not!” He snapped.

“You- You did. Look-” he pulled out his phone and showed Gerard the call log.

He narrowed his eyes. “Doesn’t matter. Get out. I- I don’t want you here.”

“I-” He moved closer, trying to keep his movements calm to not scare the strung out raven headed man in front of him.

“ _Don’t fucking touch me!_ ” He screeched, waving his fists around wildly, getting a few good hits into the left side of Frank’s face.

“Jesus…” Frank mumbled, pressing his hand to the forming bruise whilst the other man kicked his legs around like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Ge- Gerard. Gerard _please_. Stop!”

But he wouldn’t listen. Instead, he lunged forward on all fours, slashing at his friend roughly, letting his nails make contact with the brunettes face and drag them down hard enough to leave marks. In an attempt to get him to get him to stop, Frank turned Gerard around, winding his arms around the other man’s and digging his fingers into the mess of dyed, frayed hair. The uncomfortable position resulted in Gerard's arms suspended out to the side of his body, slumping awkwardly into Frank’s chest.

There was little struggling coming from the slightly bigger man, which worried Frank.

“Gee?”

He peaked around. Gerard was staring blankly at the bathroom counter, a far off look in his eyes. His body had gone only slightly rigid- signifying he’d be going into a petit-mal seizure.

“Fuck, fuck. Oh my, god. No.”

Frank scrambled back, letting Gerard lay fully extended. He waited for a moment, knowing Gerard’s pattern well enough. Judging by the rigidness of his limbs, he’d soon go into a petit mal seizure.

His eyes remained closed, but the left side of his body began jerking. Not too violently, but enough to make Frank shove some of the soap bottles on the bathtub ledge away to avoid Gerard knocking into them. He did his best to hold him in one spot, never pushing him down too hard to make sure he didn’t dislocate his shoulders.

About 30 seconds later, the other man went lose, head lolling to the side as he slipped into postictal state.

Frank moved the other man’s fringe back and touching a hand to his forehead. It was slightly damp. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he took in the rest of Gerard’s features. His usually soft lips had become dry and cracked and pale- not their usual pink colour. With caution, he opened his eyes manually to check pupillary response, pulling out his phone and turning on the flashlight- his pupils were incredibly sluggish and slow to react. Gerard’s nose looked slightly chapped as well, and when Frank noticed a small mirror with a grainy texture to it, his suspicions of what drug had been used were confirmed.

“Shit…” He cursed.

Frank reached up onto the bathroom counter and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it with cool water.

A deep breath was exhaled and he then began dabbing the cloth to Gerard’s face. He began at his forehead, washing away some of the sweat and cooling him down slightly. Then letting it run over his lips.

The older man stirred slightly, letting Frank breath a little better.

“Gee, can you hear me?”

A nod.

“Okay, I’m just gonna put this cloth on your forehead, alright?”

Another nod.

So Frank soaked the cloth in some more cool water and gingerly placed the damp fabric on the other male’s still sweaty forehead.

They both sat there in silence for a few moments, the only sound was Gerard’s deep breathing and the clicking of Frank’s gear ring.

“Frank, I-”

“You want some water?”

He sighed. “Sure.”

Frank scurried up, tripping on his way out of the bathroom. He located the glasses and poured half a cupful. The ex-bassist leaned against the counter for a moment, thinking back to the last few months, contemplating if there were any warning signs.

No, none that came to mind. Only thing was that when he talked to Mikey he mentioned that he’d seen a pack of cigarettes in Gerard’s pocket. The singer had quit a while back, ending all of his bad habits at the same time. The only thing that the smoking meant was that he could possibly be back to his old ways.

This moment, however, was a confirmation that he was.

Conjuring up as much courage as he could, Frank made his way back to the bathroom. Since he’d left, Gerard had moved himself to a sitting position so that his back was against the cabinet doors.

Handing him the glass, Frank found himself on the ground. “You should’ve waited for me to help you.”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

“Gerard," He put his hands on either side of the others face so he was forced to look him in the eyes.

He shut his eyes, leaving Frank with a pout and wet ones.

“Fine, don't look at me. But that doesn't change the fact that you're coming home with me.”

“What? C'mon, that's not fair!”

“You relapsed!"

“Yeah, _once_."

“Doesn't matter. It happened.”

"Frank!”

“Gerard Way, open your eyes and look at me.” The authority omitting from the younger man forced him to open his eyes. “You told me the first time you did this it would happen once. We both know how that went. So how can you tell me you only relapsed once?”

“‘Cause I… It _was_ only once.”

“What if it happens again?”

“It won’t.”

“I care about you, okay? That’s why I’m saying this: I don’t trust you. I’m taking you home with me so that I can begin to.”

“I’m not gonna win this, am I?”

Frank let a small smile find a home on his lips.”No, you won’t. So save us both the trouble and go pack a bag.”

Gerard feigned indifference with a less than convincing sigh and then nodded. “Alright.”

Frank pushed up the other man’s fringe more and the pressed his lips to the skin, lingering for a second too long and then abruptly pulling away. He leaned back, letting Gerard get to his feet.

It took three tries. On the first, he could barely stand, then on the second he made it half way up and stumbled down when his knees buckled underneath him.

“This is painful to watch,” Frank began. “Want some help?”

Solemnly, he nodded.

The guitarist got to his feet and wrapped his fingers around Gerard’s hand, pulling him up softly to not make him dizzy.

“You good?”

A nod.

So Frank put an arm around his back and let the singer sling his arm over his shoulders. One step at a time, the two men made their way down the hall and into Gerard’s bedroom.

He gathered a few outfits, a brush, a few other necessities, and the next thing he knew, he was sitting in the passenger seat of Frank’s car.

Almost nothing was said on the way to his house, there was only tension omitting from the both of them. It was almost suffocating. The air became heavy with the emotions that the two men tried so hard not to feel.

“You can have my room or the guest room.” The smaller of the pair started as he flipped on the light. “Take  your pick.”

“I’ll take the guest room.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m already invading your home, I don’t wanna invade your room.”

 _Why not? You’re already invading my dreams._ Frank thought to himself as he grabbed some sheets, pillowcases, and a comforter from the hall closet. He waked into the guest room. A small amount of guilt welled up in the pit of his stomach as he saw the floor littered with crumpled up pieces of paper that contained song lyrics and guitar chords.

“Sorry for all… this.” He apologized when Gerard finally entered the room.

“We’ve slept in worse places, if you remember correctly.”

A pang of bittersweetness almost took Frank off of his feet when he recalled the details of all the dirty motel rooms they’d cuddle in and all the disgusting bathroom stalls they settled for in moments of pure teenage horniness. To avoid speaking about the past that they both pretended wasn’t broken, Frank looked up and tossed one end of the sheets to the other man.

“Do you also remember how to set up a bed?”

“Of course.” The taller boy chuckled, taking his edges and stretching them apart so that they fit snuggly over the mattress.

When his sleep arrangements were set up, Frank’s palm met with the back of his neck and, still holding onto a nervous tick, rubbed the flesh.

“Well,” He began. “I’ll be just across the hall if  you need anything. Food, water, anything you can’t find- just ask me. I- I know you haven’t been here yet.”

“I wish my first time in your new house wasn’t under these circumstances.”

“Yeah, I- I know.”

He spun on his heels when he felt the urge to embrace his friend bubbled up inside of him; fingers closing the door, almost down the hall.

“Frank?” Gerard called.

His movements halted and he backtracked to the room he’d just exited.

“Yes?” The pleading look in his eyes was so evident, yet neither knew what he was pleading for.

“I-” Gerard’s hands twisted the hem of his shirt and his eyes dropped. “Nothing.”

The brunette stared at his friend, waiting until he looked up again. They shared a moment of eye contact which was filled with everything they’d never told each other.

Frank looked away first, using a fake cough as an excuse to do so.

“So yeah,” He couldn’t look up now. “Just across the hall. Come- Come get me if you need me.”

The door shut, leaving Gerard standing there, pillow in his hands, as he thought about all the things he could’ve said to let his best friend know how in love with him he was. His mind drifted and he found himself on the bed, pondering the relapse. Why Frank was the one he called in his intoxicated state was not entirely clear to him. But in an attempt to break free from all the cruel things being shouted at him in his mind, Gerard fell back against the bed and desperately tried to find sleep.

Frank, just across the hall, was trying his hardest to do the same.

At a little past two o’clock, Frank was awoken by an added weight on his mattress.

He opened his eyes to find someone crawling under the covers and attempting to wrap sleepy limbs around his body.

“Gerard?”

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Are you alright?” It was a stupid question- Frank knew it. There was no possible way that Gerard was alright. A relapse did not signify alright-ness.

“You told me if I needed you I could come get you.” He mumbled into Frank’s chest.

“I did.”

“And I need something.”

“Anything.”

“You. I need you.”

His body went rigid at the words and he stole a glance at the man next to him who now had a worried look in his eyes.

“I said anything.” Frank quickly reassured, leaning in slightly closer.

Gerard sighed in relief and pulled himself against his friend, letting his body shake with the sobs he was trying so hard to contain.

The smaller of the pair wrapped his arms around him and stroked his back comfortingly, pressing his lips to his temple.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothed in hushed tones. “You can let it out. You can cry, Gee.”

The two of them laid in bed for what felt like an eternity. Knowing that nothing Frank could say would make his friend feel any better tore him apart, made him feel completely helpless. So he just clutched tight to the man in his arms and tried his best to let him know it was okay- that he loved him.

Gerard’s sobs soon turned into quiet whimpers and sniffles. He pulled away and averted his gaze.

“Look at me,” Frank prompted, placing a finger under the others chin and force it up softly. “Feel any better?”

A shrug. “A little.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I do this to myself. I tear myself apart because I feel everything. It kills me. And, Frank, I don’t know what to do.”

Frank pulled him back in tight enough to feel his pulsing heartbeat. “We’re gonna get you help again, alright? I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

“I love you.” He squeaked.

“I love you, too.”

“Not like that…”

The brunette captured his friends cheeks in between his hands and pressed a kiss to the others lips.

“Yes, like that.” He confirmed with a nip at Gerard’s bottom lip.

A small smile touched the other man’s mouth and he let himself be held, loving every moment and promise that was made in their cocoon of warmth and comfort.

 


End file.
